i know you know this song. speech. whatever. as i said the other day, while sitting and watching a kindergarten graduation, i had an idea for a series of blog posts. it actually started before that, but i wasn’t sure which direction i wanted to take with it. i had initially planned on writing a list of things that scared me. and when i was thinking of what to call that post, i thought of “do one thing every day that scares you” which of course comes from “wear sunscreen” – but then sitting there watching a graduation, and realizing these little people have their entire lives ahead of them, and realizing that i, too, did at one time (mind you, i still have at least half of my life ahead of me – i hope!) i started to wonder how much advice – solicited or un – i took or didn’t take to get me to where i am.
and seeing as how this is quite possibly the most fabulous collection of unsolicited advice ever assembled and subsequently put to music, i thought i’d start here, and work my way through it. so to start things off, here is all of the advice in it’s entirety, and i’ll begin breaking it down in my next post:
Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth — oh, never mind — you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me in twenty years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindsides you at 4:00 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you – sing. Don’t be reckless with other peoples’ hearts and don’t put up with people that are reckless with yours. Floss. Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind, the race is long. But in the end – it’s only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year-olds still don’t. Get plenty of counseling. Be kind to your knees – you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either, your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own. Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions – even if you don’t follow them. Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings, they’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but to a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, ‘cause the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths; prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old. And when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85. Be careful who’s advise you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advise is a form of nostalgia – dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen.
i’ll tell you this much – i haven’t “tanned” since i was sixteen, and considering how dark-like-a-native i know i can get, i’m pretty freakin’ lily white. but i’m also skin-cancer-free, and hardly frecked, and definitely not leathery. so there’s that. ;o) more to come…