a little over two years ago i left a job i loved, but hated at the same time. i’d ranted about it here from time to time. the place was imploding. i didn’t want to go down with it – couldn’t afford to go down with it. and to top it all off, i got no respect there… no respect at all.

but then, out of the blue, about six months ago the boss texts me. “hey. how ya’ doin?” and proceeds to tell me how oh, so much has changed. that yes, the implosion had continued in a downward spiral, but really, they just might make it. that really, everything i tried to tell her was true (though she didn’t put it exactly that way) and that yes, she had to fire off several of the employees i tried so desperately to warn her about. she asked what i was up to. and then she finally asked what it would take for me to come back.

simple, i said. one hundred million dollars.

no, not really.

i told her i wanted all the responsibilities i said i could handle before that she never trusted me with. done.

i told her i wanted her to $hitcan the asshole that got the job that should have been mine in the first place. she said it was in the works.

i told her i wanted his salary (it was roughly 1.5 times what mine was when i left). done.

i told her she had to listen to me. she said she’d try, she really would.

and then… nothing. the conversation died.

until! until last week. i get a new text, “hey, is this still your number?” and proceeds to tell me that yes, the downward spiral is nearly complete. but really she needs my help with some things i used to know that she doesn’t know. so i lend a hand. i find out from the person i’m working with that she wants me back when she can afford it. i find out that they want her to want me back. i find out that my work is apparently some of the best work they’ve ever seen. and then…

nothing. the conversation died.

seriously?

seriously.

just quit it.